Parenting Fail aka Uhhhhhhhhhhhh Crapppppppppppppp





I went to therapy last week. Fun times at therapy I tell you what. We were discussing what a hard time baby girl was having lately and then we got on the topic of discipline and my therapist asked "So how do you discipline baby girl?" Uhhhhhhhhhh Crappppppp. Uhhhhhhhhh Crappppppppp. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. did I say crap yet. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh Crappppppppp. Well since your my therapist and you here to help me I'm gonna tell you the truth. The truth I didn't actually realize until you just asked me this question.

"uhhhhhhhhhhhh I don't think I've actually disciplined her at all since Dan died"  uhhhhhhhhhhh apparently that was 23 months ago. uhhhhhhhhh apparently I haven't disciplined my child in almost two years.  Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. What a fantastic revelation.

Yup

Yup

Yup.


Uhhhhhhhh I guess I have a defense. My husband died.Pretty much everything went out the window when that happened. We are just trying to hold it together, discipline is not on my mind. Dan and I were always easy going parents anyway. You had to do something very naughty to get in trouble. I'm talking like hit somebody or bite them. You didn't get in trouble for being mad or not following directions, or jumping on the couch. (we sort of encouraged that.) Also baby girl doesn't get in a lot of trouble, thats just not how she rolls. Despite what many people thought we did have a strong parenting theory. It's biased on a program called Love and logic. Dan studied this program a lot in school and loved it. We both read the book and took a class on it when baby girl was an infant. That was a long time ago. My husband has died since then.

As much as I don't want it to be life is very different now. I am a single parent. I don't have Dan and all his schooling to help me out. I don't have Dan to do the discipline for me when I don't want to. I don't have Dan to discuss discipline tactics with. I don't have Dan to raise our child together with me anymore and that is an indescribable level of suck. As it turns out baby girls school is offering that same parenting class Dan and I took o so long ago now. I was thinking about taking it again. because well things are different now. Dan is gone.

I was discussing this discipline revelation with my friend the other day. Then yesterday I received a package in the mail. My mother in law brought it to me and baby girl in the living room. I said huh whats this  didn't order anything. And then I opened it and laughed. It was a parenting book I was discussing with my friend. Baby girl looked at it and read the title out loud "Positive Discipline" "Its a parenting book" I said "she thinks I should read it" Baby girl looked at the book and I could see what she was thinking Nope, no discipline for me, no thank you. She tossed the book on the floor and climbed into my lap "nope nope nope, mommy don't read that book. you are a good mommy, you don't need to read that book. nope nope nope you are a good mommy"  hmmmmmmmm well glad she thinks so no matter what her motives are. Then my mother in law mentioned the class that was being offered at the school. I said yes I had pretty much planned on going. Again baby girl said "you don't need to take a class you are a good mommy"

Well baby girl I may be a good mommy. I try my damdest to be. But a good mommy knows when she needs help. Looks like parenting classes are in my future. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh Crappppppppppp.

I wrote a book about my grief, you can read it here: Carry on Castle

Comments

  1. DebsDecember 18, 2016 at 1:35 PM

    Nice to be called a good mommy for a change! But take the class anyway... It'll make you a great mommy
    😉

    ReplyDelete

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