Carry on Castle: Living with Grief

Baby Girl isn't really a baby anymore. In about a week and a half is her half birthday, she will officially be 11 1/2.  I guess thats not a baby. She is in the sixth grade, I guess thats not a baby. When she was first born her entire body fit between my fingers and my elbow. That is certainly not the case anymore. Her daddy always called her Baby Girl and thats why I do it too. When she was 7 1/2 her daddy died, I've told you that story once or twice. She was still very much a baby then. In a time where most kids are growing and learning to do things for themselves we were stuck in the mire of grief. Baby Girl was in it so deep she couldn't talk about her daddy or mention his name. It hurt her little heart to much. Just over a year after Dan died (which might as well have been the next day the way grief counts time) we had to move. Baby Girl and I were both devastated, but like daddy Baby Girl did not like talking about moving, that hurt too much too. Slowly, very slowl

So here is a fun story. It's also true so even better. It is about my precious, beautiful, dare devil daughter, who we used to say will do nothing short of conquering the world when she grows up. Her daddy always called Baby Girl. Her daddy was her hero and her eyes lite up every time he came home from work. She would run screaming with glee "daddy, daddy, daddy!" when she heard the front door open. He would scoop her up, kiss and hug her, and say "Hi baby Girl how was your day?" She almost always answered with a "daddy will you come play with me?" she always got a "yes as soon as I kiss mommy" Here is the part you may have heard. One night when she was 7 1/2 years old  we put her to bed just like we've done every night of her life. We said our prayers, we sang our songs. I gave her a kiss and a hug and said "goodnight baby I will see you in the morning." Her daddy gave her a kiss and a hug and said "good night baby I wil

I haven't blogged in a long time. I feel like I have been saying that every time. It's true, I think I managed to blog about once a month all summer as opposed to 2-3 times a week. I just didn't have time. We had such a busy summer Baby Girl and I, I have so much I could blog about; How therapy is going for baby Girl there's stuff to talk about there. Our summer adventures, we had about a million, all with memories of Dan. The start to school for Baby Girl. Family. I am making a list. Dating. Ahhhhhh that widow dating thing, it's a doozy. and our topic winner for today. If you didn't read my last post here is the link.   dating blog   In short it says that yes I have started dating. Fortunately  for me the first man I dated was amazing (you can read about his amazingness in the above blog.)  I think it just took time, it just took time for me to be ready to date, it took time to understand that I can still love Dan. It took time to understand that I can be hap