Carry on Castle: Living with Grief

So I am a member of several online grief groups.  I love and adore them. They truly helped me in this horrible nightmare. I am part of a group for all grievers of all kinds. I am part of several widows only groups, widowed with kids group, young widows group. I love them all. They have some very specific rules, grief groups, the main one is; you have to be in the club. The suckiest club that no one wants to join, you have to have lost a loved one. For my widow groups you have to have lost a life partner, hey I qualify, yay me. No, no yay me.  The second main rule that most of them have is no soliciting or advertising. This makes sense of course you don't want everyone posting about their MLM in a group thats talking about grief. It doesn't fit, it doesn't belong there. So I wrote a book, a book about my grief, I'm told it's a pretty good book.  I self published it, which means I have to do all the advertising and promotion myself. What better place to tell eve

Sometimes I think I should be over it by now, that I should move on and all that garbage people say. Then I remember thats exactly what it is: GARBAGE. Lets recap: My husband and soul mate dropped dead in front of me. In seconds he was gone and I was all alone, my heart ripped from my chest and smashed into a trillion pieces. Did I mention he was only 36, that I was only 34, or that our daughter was only 7? There is no getting over that! It's been 4 1/2 years. I'm not over it.  I suppose you could say it's better, but better isn't the right word. A lot of people have compared it to losing a leg, your leg is always going to be gone, but in time you learn how to compensate for the giant piece of you thats missing, you learn to carry on. It still hurts, it's still wrong, it will never be ok, but it is what it is so you keep going. I kept going, I had no choice but to keep going, I had a daughter to take care of (her dad was no longer any help) Eventually, I start