Will the real John Smith please stand up.

Almost three and a half years after Dan died I decided to maybe try this dating thing out. I thought it was going to be awful. One terrible date after another, never finding anyone 1/4 as good as Dan. That is what I was in for,why was I even trying. One of my besties said "No Jenny, dating is going to be easy for you, It has to be, you've been through way to much crap, God has to give this one to you." I laughed at her. Ha thats exactly why it's going to be awful, life isn't exactly going smoothly these days, there is no way this will.  Lucky for me my bestie was right and I was wrong. The first real date I went on I met the most amazing man. You can read all about that here my first date .

A couple weeks later I messaged my Dad and my siblings "No body freak out!!!!! I may have started dating someone" Most of them freaked out despite my warning. Especially my dad. He wanted to know how we met "Uh my bestie Stacie might have made me sign up for online dating" My dads reply was "God bless Stacie" Guess that means he's happy.

I wrote my first blog about him, assuming he may want to keep his identity secret I gave him a fake name.  He knows he signed up for this crazy widow gig thing with me and he knows I blog about it but that doesn't mean he wants the whole world to read about it. John Smith is about as basic a name as it comes, so I went with that.

After my first blog my dad messaged me "Who is John Smith? I thought you were dating ________?" "I am dad. John Smith is just a alias for _________" "Well why don't you just call him ________" Ok so someone should explain how alias's work to my dad. Many of my friends who had already met John Smith replied in the comments of that blog "Hi ___________ Nice to meet you" I guess someone should explain how aliases work for them too.

A few weeks later I officially posted a picture of us on Facebook and introduced him as my boyfriend, using his real name.  It sounds silly and childish but I was nervous to do that. Not because of him, but because of me. I knew already what an amazing guy he was and I knew already I wanted him in our lives. However it meant that I was admitting that to myself and the world, I was admitting that I was wrong, that I did have room in my heart for someone besides Dan. No thats not the right wording, it's more like along with Dan. I have room in my heart for someone along with Dan. I didn't think that was possible but John Smith should me it was. He also made room in his heart for Dan which was key.

We have been dating about six months now. It is going extremely well on all fronts. Even Baby Girl is warming up to him (well sometimes.)  I have written a couple blogs about John Smith and this dating stuff. However it is kinda more then just dating, He is a part of our lives now, He is there at parties and family gatherings.

I wrote a little blog this morning about a red balloon. John Smith was in it but he wasn't the crux of the story, he was there because he's part of our lives now, Dan was there to. Here is that blog in case you missed it.  John Smith Daddy and the red balloon  John Smith called me after he read it. "That was a really cute blog... You know you can call me by my real name in your blogs, you don't have to use an alias."  "Are you sure? You didn't sign up to be written about to the world" I questioned. "Yes I did, I signed up to be with you, every part of you. I want the whole world to know we are together." isn't he the sweetest. "Ok so you want the whole world to know how incredibly sweet you are?" I said. That one got him "Uh wait a minute let me rethink this" "Nope nope its too late everyone is gonna know now."

Hey Everyone! This is my Boyfriend Justin. His name isn't John Smith so I'm going to stop calling him that. However it does cause some confusion in my family because I also have a brother named Justin, we are working on differentiating. Justin is amazing and I know you will all like him. He loves me and Baby Girl and Dan.



I wrote a book about my grief, you can read it here: Carry on Castle

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