Carry on Castle: Living with Grief

Baby Girl came home from school last Wednesday, "Mommy guess what happened in Gym! I got hit in the head with a hockey stick." "Oh Baby Girl are you ok? Did it hurt?" "It didn't hurt bad enough to make me cry but I went to the office and got a bag of ice." Oh ok, I guess your fine. Thats all I thought about it, she was fine. The next day after school she said her head hurt. I replied with "well ya you got hit in the head with a hockey stick, it's probably bruised and going to hurt for a few days." The next day she said her head hurt. "Huh, it still hurts, you must have gotten hit pretty good, you really didn't cry?" The next day. "Mommy my head really hurts" huh thats so weird I would have thought it would be feeling better by now not worse. All weekend long she complained that her head hurt. By Sunday night it was hurting so bad she was crying. Monday morning it hurt so bad she didn't want to go to s...

Did I ever tell you I have a tween daughter.  Fun times, I tell you what, fun times.  In case you don't know (specifically my dad who has actually asked me this before) A tween is a small child between the ages of 9-12. Not a teen yet but they think they are and they act like it. One of their main characteristics is thinking their parents are complete imbeciles.  I have one of those, Baby Girl thinks her parents are complete imbeciles, well just her mother, her father got out of this stage by dying, truly not fair. We were at Grandma and Grandpas for dinner the other night and my child was explaining to her grandmother how I simply did not know anything at all and you know she has practically raised herself and how has grandma possibly put up with me all these years because I am an idiot. Ok I might be embellishing a little, ya nope nope I'm not. Grandma and I were greatly amused.  Baby Girl was not impressed by our amusement and said something to the effect of '...

I do this thing with my new boyfriend where I cry over my dead husband. I used to think a man like that did not exist. To quote myself "Someone who would want to kiss me one minute and hold me while I cry over my dead husband the next minute does not exist."  I may have found the only guy out there who gets it without having actually gone through it. Thus the other night we were talking on the phone, we were talking about him, not me, he said something and I don't even remember what it was but I replied "sometimes you and Dan are very much alike" he asked me in what way. You both work so hard, because you both care about your family so much. When Baby Gril was born I went back to work, all three of us hated it. It was Dan that said 'Enough, we will find another way to make income, stay home' that other way was babysitting kids at my house, I did that for a year or so, all three of us hated it. It was Dan that said 'Enough, this is too much for yo...

Do you wanna now something that would always annoy me about Dan? Really it annoys me when anyone does it, but it would especially annoy me with Dan. He would never answer his phone. I could be texting him and he would be immediately texting me back but then if I decided to just call him instead he wouldn't answer his phone. What was that about? Clearly you saw I was calling you, your phone is right in your hand, just answer it. It would drive me nuts. I've had several dreams about Dan this week. It rarely happens that I dream at all and it is even rarer that I dream about Dan.  In the February that won't seem to end (thank goodness it's finally March 1st) I am having the same recurring dream about Dan: I call him and he won't pick up the phone. I know he's there just holding it in his hand, but he won't answer my phone call. I am frustrated at him, just like I was in real life, "grrrrrrrrrrrr Dan why won't you answer your phone?" I say in...